HcG Diet – Day 14 – 12/31/08

206.5lbs – this seriously sucks! I was really expecting to see better results than this by now. I'm going to call today and see if they have any suggestions of what I should change.

I was curious how many calories I'm eating, so I put my food for yesterday into spark people and it was 669 calories for yesterday. And still no loss.

Ok, so maybe I'm weighing myself at the wrong time in the morning. I usually weigh in as soon as I get up, so anywhere from 6:00-8:00, this morning I did that and got the 206.5 at 6:30, after I got out of the shower I just wanted to see, it was around 9:30 I think, and the scale said 205.0 even with my wet hair. I checked on my other scale and it said 203.7 and I lost a percentage of body fat. The scale that says 205 is my official scale, but I also like the other because it gives me my body fat percentage. So tomorrow I won't weigh myself as soon as I wake up, I will wait until 9:00 and see what happens. I do remember about 2 years ago when I was out of work and working out all the time, I was always lighter around 9:00am, so I need to just remember that and make that my official weigh in time on Saturday mornings. (I'm not home at 9:00am on weekdays.)

I had a little crying melt down with my husband today. I started to tell him about my theory but before I got to the part about my actual weight he said he didn't like me weighing every day, I couldn't keep it in anymore and just started crying, after my husband held me while I cried I was able to get out the rest of my theory and what the scale said. We discussed the whole weighing thing, I think after this week I will just weigh myself on weigh in day and one day in the middle just to make sure I'm on track. He doesn't like the affect it has on me when it doesn't move for 5 days.

Apparently he's decided he's going to eat the same thing I am just a lot bigger portions. I guess he figures it will make things a little easier on me. We'll see how that goes. I still have to make dinner for the kids though. And I hate the thought of him being deprived just because I'm trying to lose weight. I know he wants to lose about 20lbs, so eating the same stuff as me should help him with that.

It's grocery shopping day. I'm getting ready to make my shopping list. I'm trying to think of some good things I can make this week – maybe for all of us, that would make things a little easier for me.

I just realized - 2 weeks down (well after today) …… 10 to go. J

HcG Diet – Day 13 – 12/30/08

Weigh in 206.6. Ok now I've got the panicky thoughts going through my head, I've been on this 13 days, I'm following it exactly as I'm supposed to and for 4 days now I have not budged on my weight, besides to fluctuate from 206.0-206.7. What if this isn't going to work for me just like so many other things haven't worked for me? What if we wasted that money that we could have used for something else? Yes I'm almost in tears, yes I'm freaking out today. My husband tried to make me feel better – "maybe you are retaining water" "that's why you shouldn't weigh yourself every day" "that's why you should go by the measurements" It would be one thing if it was one or two days of the scale not moving below 206, but it's 4 days!!!!! I measured myself this morning, nothing going on there either. I just want to curl up in bed and cry. I'm feeling hungry now because I haven't eaten breakfast yet, but there is a huge part of me that doesn't even want to eat today. I'm looking at my food journal thinking what am I doing wrong? I'm eating no more than the 12 oz of protein a day, 2 fruits, veggies, no sugar, more than 100 oz of water. I don't know what to change. I guess I will take out the protein shake today and I will take out the breadstick. Those are the only two things I added in and then stopped losing. Both are approved for this program though, the protein shake is designed by or for Medshape, and the breadstick is on the list of food to eat, but not required. If that doesn't do anything then I will call the clinic tomorrow and ask what to do.

When I started this, I thought it was probably going to be too good to be true. I can't even imagine myself at a size 8, let alone being there in 12 weeks. For the last 6 years I have struggled so much with my weight and going up and down, but mostly up. Always telling myself I would start tomorrow or I would lose xxx amount by xx/xx/xxxx and never making it because it always seemed so unattainable and out of reach. So I had my doubts when I started this. I had my doubts in myself that I would be able to stick with it for the whole program, I didn't really have doubts about the program itself because I've heard of so many locally that have done this program and it worked for them. But here I am following perfectly and nothing happening. I'm sure this will pass. I'm sure that in a day or two I will lose a couple pounds, but in the moment it gets very frustrating and defeating.

I'm having such a hard time today. I had a lot I wanted to get done today. Our bedroom is a huge mess from Christmas clutter to just plain clutter and dog hair and dust. I wanted to get it spotless and then tackle the bathroom next. I got part of the room done, vacuumed, dusted somewhat de-cluttered, but not everything I wanted done. I just can't get motivated cuz I'm so bummed that my weight is not budging. This is such a mental thing. All day I've been fighting the temptation to eat chocolate. There is so much really good chocolate around the house from Christmas that they boys and my husband hasn't finished eating, and all I keep thinking is why even try? Why not just make myself happy and eat some chocolate? It's so tough, I know that's not the answer and it won't make me feel better, in fact it will make me feel worse and make me more upset worrying about how it will affect my weight loss. I'd wonder tomorrow that if I hadn't ate the chocolate would I have lost instead of staying the same or going up.

I've kept my eating on the minimum side today. It's been a little tough, but ok. Today I've eaten 4 oz of steak, 4 oz of shrimp, 1 apple, 1 ½ cups of veggies, and 9 brussel sprouts. I still have dinner to eat and I'm planning on 4 oz of fish and probably steamed cauliflower. Hopefully something positive will happen on the scale tomorrow morning. My family is having pizza tonight, that's gonna be tough for me, especially in the mood that I'm in when it comes to this diet today, but I'll make it through. My husband won't let me give in to temptation. Thank goodness for him. J

Looking for a better day tomorrow……

HcG Diet – Day 12 – 12/29/08

Morning weigh in – 206.0lbs. I lost a tiny bit. I guess half a pound a day is pretty good. I was thinking this morning that I was going to have my husband hide the scale. I know, really sad that I can't just stay off of it without it being hidden, but I can't – I "need" to weigh myself every morning. I was thinking this because I was thinking how discouraging it is to see that I didn't lose anything 1 or 2 days in a row. But then I started thinking that I added in a protein shake the last two days, so maybe I should take it out of my diet and see what happens. I basically decided that there is benefit to weighing myself each day, I can determine if I need to change anything. So, I will continue as is today and see what happens tomorrow, if I lose again then I will have my husband hide the scale and I will continue on until Saturday morning and then weigh myself, if I don't lose, then I will take out the shake and see how things look on Wednesday.

So last night I didn't sleep that great. I only took 1 Advil PM and I woke up many times and finally about 3:30 I took another, but couldn't get back to sleep, so I read from about 4:00-6:00 and then fell back to sleep for about an hour. Tonight I will go back to 2 Advil PMs, but at least I'm not taking 3 anymore.

I was talking to my husband yesterday about the fact that this is the longest I've been on a restricted eating plan for 12 days and not cheated. I know Christmas I did, but it was planned cheat and it wasn't much at all really. But 12 days and I don't even feel deprived. I was talking to my mom last night and I was chewing gum on the phone and she was annoyed by that. She's always super skeptical about diets like these that involve some sort of "drug" and worried about the long term affects. Anyway, here's how the conversation went.

Mom: "why are you chewing gum?"
Me: "because I felt like I needed something but didn't want to eat"
Mom: "So it's not working then.?" (More of a statement than a question)
Me: "no, it's working fine, I just felt like I needed something sweet."
Mom: "so, it's not working."
Me: "No, it's working. I'm not hungry, I just felt like something sweet – so I'm chewing gum."
Mom: "It's not working; I thought you aren't supposed to be having cravings."
Me: "It's working fine, I'm not having cravings, it is more of a mental thing."

I just didn't know how to explain it to her right. I'm not having any cravings; I just saw the gum sitting there and decided I wanted a piece, something to keep my mouth busy and something with some flavor besides chicken – if that makes sense. It's the same with tea, I feel like I'm getting a treat because it's sweet. I don't NEED a treat; I just want to feel like I'm able to have something sweet if I WANT it. But if she read my blogs, she would see that it is working. It's amazing how I can eat so little and not be hungry. I'm not eating many carbs at all and no sugar and I'm totally happy, no loss in energy, no cravings. But it doesn't take away your mental struggles. Like when there is leftover food sitting on the stove from my family's dinner and the thoughts in my head are saying, "that looks so good, I would love a bite.", mind you, I'm not hungry, I wasn't even thinking of whatever the food was before I walked over to the stove and saw it. It's all just mental – hopefully at some point I will get over it.

I'm almost back down to my "wedding weight", I was 204 when my husband and I got married in July. I worked so hard to get there and then afterward didn't bother getting back on track and continuing and ended up gaining almost 12 lbs. I lost about 5 of those doing 2 months of weight watchers, then gained them back again, and now I've lost almost 10 lbs in 12 days. Amazing! I love it. I just can't wait until I get under 200. My 3 big highlights will be 199 – because it's under 200 finally, 175 – not sure why, but it just sticks out at me for some reason, and 155 – because I've never been lower than that after I had my kids. I saw the scale say 156 once, but I usually hovered around 160, so I don't think I was officially at 156 for more than a day. But I still saw it on the scale. I didn't stay around 160 very long either, I ended up gaining again. So when I see 155 it will be exciting.

I'm going to post this now, I will probably edit this post at some point today; I'm sure I will have more to say as the day goes on.

I have a bit of a headache again today. L I'm in the process of making flank steak for steak salad. I'm going to have to figure out a yummy "dressing" for the salad. I am drinking the same amount of water, but peeing a lot today. I'm starting to think that means I will see a bigger loss on the scale tomorrow. It seems like I see the most loss when I have to pee a lot, but I drink 104-130 oz every day, so it's not the water that's making the difference. (I hope).

Mmmmmm, my salad was pretty yummy. I did 2 oz of the steak, lettuce, grape tomatoes, celery, cucumber, and radish, then I crushed up my breadstick, put a little red wine vinegar, and chopped up my apple. It was really good.

No more headache today either. I think tonight I'm going to have some shrimp and some steak for dinner and some veggie and apples.

HcG Diet – Day 11 – 12/28/08

Not too happy with my weight this morning – 206.7 – I didn't lose anything. I know I'm up .1 lb today, but I don't really consider that I gained either because it's only .1. I did notice this morning though that some sweats that I was wearing that are usually tight around my pelvic area are pretty loose. So that's a good sign. I'm happy about that.

I'm not feeling too wonderful today. I woke up with a headache. I took some Excedrin migraine and so far it hasn't helped. Right now I'm feeling a little dizzy and a little off. I had a protein shake with some raspberries in it around 8:15am, it's now 11:00am, so I'm going to eat something and see if that helps. That could be why I'm feeling dizzy and somewhat shaky, I may just need to eat. I'm hoping that's all it is cuz I promised my son we would go to the mall today.

Yep, the food helped. Not feeling shaky or dizzy now. I still have a slight headache though. This whole thing is more of trial and error when it comes to what I'm eating and when. Maybe I need to have food for breakfast instead of just a shake. Tomorrow I will do scrambled egg whites with spinach and zucchini for breakfast and the protein shake for a snack and see how that goes.

Last night I was making my dinner and my step daughter (she's 6) was asking what I couldn't eat, she was going to make a list. I told her it would be easier if I told her what I could eat. We talked about all the food groups and then we talked about what I could eat in each food group and she wrote down what I could eat. Then we talked about what I could drink, I told her water and tea, she said "no dr pepper?" the incredulous look she had on her face was so adorable. She just couldn't believe that I couldn't drink dr pepper. Then I was saying no cake, no chips, no cookies, no……. and she said, but you had cake at your wedding didn't you? I told her I just started this a couple days ago, so yes I had cake at the wedding. Then she asked what a diet actually was. It was a little hard to explain to a 6 year old that everyone has some sort of diet, either good or bad. It was an interesting conversation though. The dr pepper thing is really funny because her reaction was more like I drank it all the time or something, and in reality the only time I drink soda is if we go out to a fast food restaurant, otherwise it's always been water anyway.

I've still had my headache all day and on and off shakiness. L I know it doesn't have anything to do with this particular diet because I was feeling this way right before I started the whole thing and I would feel this way off and on occasionally.

Today I bought some shrimp and had that for dinner, it was yummy. I also bought a flank steak and will cook that tomorrow and eat it on a salad or by itself. The salad won't be quite as good as my steak salads I usually eat with feta cheese and brianna's red blush wine dressing and croutons and sunflower seeds…..mmmmmmm – but o'well, it will still be good.

I'm hoping to see better numbers on the scale tomorrow.

 

HcG Diet – Day 10 – 12/27/08

Today 206.6, not much of a loss from yesterday, but better than a gain and still 9.3 lbs in 10 days. I've been reading other blogs of people that are also doing the HcG diet but different than my program. They don't eat as often as I do and they count calories, it seems like it would be so much harder than what I'm doing. I like being able to eat every couple hours and not having to count my calories.

Yesterday I bought some Sweet Cinnamon Spice tea, I had it with a little splenda and it's sooooo yummy. Really helps with the hunger and the cold weather. I also bought a mixed berry protein mix from Medshape, it's actually pretty good. They said they have a ton of other flavors that I wouldn't mind trying, like chocolate peanut butter, chocolate mint, strawberry banana, cinnamon – there was a ton more but I can't remember them all. But they do sound good. The mixed berry one isn't too bad either.

Today I have been more hungry, I think again it has to do with the fact that I'm not doing anything to keep busy. Just reading and catching up on my soaps. Even though I don't have any cravings for food anymore, one thing I am finding hard is having the yummy food around the house and keeping my willpower in check. It's not that I even want them, but seeing them sitting there does make it difficult. I know if I eat it I will feel guilty for eating it.

I took a picture of myself today to post on my myspace page to show off my new hair cut and color, I compared it to one I took in July of 2007 – my face shows such a huge change. I was about 235 at that time I think. Even the picture that I posted on day 1 from about a month ago looks a little different from today. Here is the picture from today for comparison…

I think on the 2^nd of January I will take a full body shot so I can see the difference and compare it to the day 1 shot.

I've been hearing a lot of other people eating oranges while doing their HcG, so I think today I'm going to have an orange. I also got some yummy honey crisp apples, they are big, so one is probably my whole fruit servings for the day – but they are crispy and good.

I can't believe that I've made it through 10 days now that I really think about it. It seems like I just started a day or two ago. I'm hoping it goes by fast. When I think about "oh my gosh, March is so far away", but I just will take it one day at a time and I will get there.

I do have to admit, sometimes it really hard, cooking one thing for my family and watching them eat it while I'm either not eating cuz it's not time or I"m eating something entirely different but wishing I was eating what they were. There has been so many times it really upsets me and I just want to cry, but I don't want my husband to know it upsets me because it's not his fault and I don't want him to feel bad. It's just something I'm going to have to get over and deal with. Tonight i made them spaghetti with garlic bread and I just had my snack so I wasn't hungry and it wasn't time for my dinner, but I was still almost in tears. My step daughter asked me why I wasn't eating with them and it was so hard to explain why without crying. I hope this part gets easier.

HcG Diet – Day 9 – 12/26/08

Today's home weigh in was 207.3 – down another pound. I'm getting ready now to go in for my official weigh in at the clinic.

Today I got up and didn't eat breakfast until 9:00; it was so hard to choke down the chicken. I seriously almost gagged. That's going to be the hardest part of this program I think, the lack of variety. I'm going to have to get creative. Right now I'm baking some chicken with some tomato basil seasoning and some tomato slices, hopefully it will be good. My hunger and cravings are totally under control. That part is pretty easy. When I look at how much I'm eating it totally amazes me that I'm not hungry, but I'm not and I feel great. I have maintained my normal energy level, if not had more since I started this. Some of the positive side effects of the HcG are supposed to be increased energy, sleeping better at night, less headaches and migraines. I haven't had too many headaches since I started; I only had one withdrawal headache. I slept great last night. I usually take Advil PM before bed; I take about 3 and still will wake up several times during the night. Last night I cut it to 2 and I slept the whole night without waking up until my husband left for work at 4:00am. I really love this stuff.

Last night I almost forgot to give myself my shot. Wednesday was my day off from my shot and I thought about it a couple times yesterday but it was never close to the time to do it and then I totally spaced it until I was laying in bed reading at 9:30pm. So I jumped up and gave myself my shot. Usually I do it between 5-7pm.

So not super happy with my weigh in results at the clinic, 210.8 – I know part of it is cuz it was the middle of the afternoon, and it is still officially 4 lbs in a week and 2 of those days was pigging out.

After the clinic I spent the afternoon at the spa. It was really nice and relaxing. I was so starving afterward though because I hadn't eaten in over 5 hours and had to wait till I got home to eat. But I ate 4 oz of chicken and some cauliflower and now I feel super full.

On to another day…..

HcG Diet – Day 8 – 12/25/08

One week down, eleven to go….. Today I weighed in at 208.3, so I still lost a pound even though I wasn't super strict to the diet yesterday, although I didn't go too far off. I measured myself this morning and I've already lost some inches in my waist, chest and busts. Unfortunately nothing on my hips. It seems that my hips are always the hardest area for me to lose.

So, today I made Christmas breakfast for my family, some potatoes that I wait all year to eat on Christmas, a sausage ring and I also made "south of the boarder eggs", all of which I didn't get to have any of. Instead I woke up at 7:00 and ate my chicken and raspberries, and then while my husband ate the breakfast I made for him (around 10am) I ate more chicken, 2 celery stalks and some apple slices. The one thing I keep telling myself is that I can make those potatoes again when I'm all done with this program. The hunger seems really easy now, I'm not really hungry at all during the day, unless it's around time for my snack. The hardest part when I'm cooking for my family is that I'm used to tasting everything to see if it tastes right or licking my finger if something gets on them, both things I can't do now. That is tough, but it actually isn't too hard to refrain from eating the stuff I'm not supposed to.

Yesterday was my day off of my injections, so today I start injections again for the next 6 days. Tomorrow is my weekly appointment at the Medshape clinic, so I will get to see what my official weight loss is for the week. I'm excited about that. I also have some question for them after being on the eating portion of this for a couple days. Like why I can't eat broccoli and asparagus together, and how much is an actual handful of raspberries, to me that's not a measurement – I need to know if it's a cup or half cup or whatever.

As I read other people's blogs that are going through this journey as well, I'm finding that there are many different ways to do this. It's interesting. So far I haven't found a blog where they are eating every couple of hours, most the others are eating lunch and dinner and that's it. I'm eating 5-6 times a day. They are also counting calories, I'm just eating what's on the approved list, which is 12 oz of protein a day and unlimited veggies (from the list) and my 2 servings of fruit and I just added the breadsticks in also.

I think my body is getting used to the water intake again, I'm not going to the bathroom nearly as often.

Today I feel more hungry, but I think it's because I haven't kept as busy as I have been the past couple days. It's not unbearable though. I'm getting ready to eat a snack now. I really want the potatoes I made this morning though. That's the hard part.

I made it through another day successfully. Tomorrow is weigh in, I can't wait!!!!

HcG Diet – Day 7 – 12/24/08

209.4 lbs – I lost 2 since yesterday – woo hoo!!!!

Today is our Christmas day, my stepdaughter will be with her mom tomorrow celebrating Christmas, so we are doing ours as a family today. The one thing that I was worried about when I started this was that I wouldn't be able to eat what I wanted on Christmas and drink on Christmas and New Years Eve. My husband works pretty much 7 days a week so we do not drink often, so we had decided on Christmas Eve and New Years Eve that we would drink. So I did really good when it came to food, I just had a little taste of fudge and I had about ¼ cup of my twice baked potatoes, and now I'm drinking sugar free grapefruit juice and vodka. Now I will see how the extra stuff affected my weight tomorrow. We also had prime rib, broccoli and raspberries.

This morning I cooked some extra lean beef for breakfast, which did keep me fuller longer than the egg whites.

Tomorrow will be back to my normal meal plan and lots of water to counter the alcohol from today.

HcG Diet – Day 6 – 12/23/08

211.3 lbs

Last night I bought some gum, I thought for sure I had read that sugar free gum was ok, but now I can't find it anywhere on the website or in the papers I have. I guess I will be waiting till Friday to ask and find out if I can chew gum. I thought it would help when I'm hungry or when I feel like I need something sweet. I also bought some pomegranate green tea and a vanilla caramel tea, so I'm going to try them today and see if they are good.

Today is my last day at work for 12 days. It's going to be so nice, but at the same time I'm a little worried since I will be home all day, so I might get bored and want to eat. It will be interesting to see how much a changed is noticed when I come back to work on the 5^th. While I was shopping last night, I stopped at Mervyns because they are closing and had an 80% off everything sale, I bought myself some small and medium shirts – they would have normally cost around $100 but I got them for $18. I was pretty happy with that and excited that I have a couple things to wear when I'm done losing. I will admit I had the thought in my head though – "what if I don't lose like I'm supposed to and I just wasted this money? I can't return this stuff" There's always that self doubt in my head when I'm trying to lose weight. I need to figure out how to get over that. It's always what ends up sabotaging my progress. But this time my husband is counting on me too, especially since he paid for the whole program, I can't let his money go to waste. And my husband is also very supportive, so that helps a lot. I'm sure it sucks for him and the kids because with my restricted eating for the next 12 weeks, it kind of restricts theirs also. Not as much, but I won't be cooking all the yummy stuff I used to cook, and we won't be going out to eat and I won't be buying ice cream and junk that I can't have, so they are all making sacrifices for me as well. (The kids just don't know it yet.)

Ok, so far, mornings are tough, I'm hungrier in the morning, so I guess I need to experiment a little to see what's going to fill me up and keep me full longer. I've just been doing egg whites and apples, but within an hour or so, I'm hungry again. The rest of the day seems fine after I have my first snack. I think right now I'm going to go to the bathroom and then get a cup of tea and see if that helps. I still have to wait at least 45 minutes before I can eat my first snack, and right now chicken and cucumbers do not sound appealing at 8:30 in the morning.
I took my chicken to the microwave and bumped the plate and lost almost all my chicken. I only had about a ½ ounce left to eat for my snack. L That sucked!

I went till 12:45 without eating lunch, even with not having my whole snack earlier. It seems like this is getting easier and easier when it comes to hunger. I will admit temptation is still tough. There was a chocolate cake in the coffee room and it smelled so good. Then the guy that sits next to me got a piece and told me how good it was. But I didn't give in. The vanilla caramel tea is really good, add a little splenda and it tastes more like a treat. I think tea will be my friend for the next 12 weeks.

I went to Sprouts today to buy some of the Walden Farms sauces and stuff. I got them home all excited and tasted each, yuck! The chocolate syrup was ok, the "peanut butter" was ok – tasted nothing like Jif though, the thousand island dressing tasted nothing like the real stuff and the ranch tasted nothing like ranch. I guess maybe they will be more appealing after I have gone without all that stuff for a while.

I did have a hard time today though, not so much because I wanted something specific or was hungry, but more because I keep "forgetting" what I'm doing. My son and I were on our way to Costco and I thought "oh, we could get a hot dog" then I realized, no I can't. Then when we were in Costco they have all the yummy samples, and I almost forgot and ate one. It's going to take some time to get used to it, but it will be worth it.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'm planning on cooking a prime rib and twice baked potatoes, so I have decided that I will allow myself a couple bites of potato and a bite of the fudge that my dad sent me for Christmas, but I will not go overboard. Before I decided to do this program, the first thing I asked the counselor is what I would do on Christmas, and her response was "it is a holi-DAY, it only happens once a year, so do not deprive yourself, but also do it in moderation." So that's what I plan on doing.

 

 

HcG Diet – Day 5 – 12/22/08

212.3 lbs – so it looks like something is working. I thought I would just post a couple days of what I'm eating to give an idea of what I get to eat the next 12 weeks. I won't do it every day because it's basically the same things, unless I try a new recipe or figure out how to do something really good with the limited choices I have.

So, today hasn't been too bad. I did have a sugar withdrawal headache, but took some Excedrin and its feeling better. I haven't been too hungry; actually I've stayed pretty satisfied all day so far. It's only 1:00pm and I've already drank 104 oz of water and a cup of tea, and gone to the bathroom way too many times to count.

It seems like in the morning I'm more hungry than I am in the afternoon, but again, that could have been boredom yesterday because today after I had my morning snack I wasn't hungry and actually wasn't even all that hungry when it was time to eat lunch. I had another cup of tea this afternoon; it makes me feel warm and full. It is also nice to have something other than just water. Before I moved to Arizona I used to drink tea all the time, but for some reason hot tea in hot weather just doesn't sound that great. But the weather is kind of cold lately, so I think I will find some yummy flavored teas so I have some sort of treat.

I was late on everything tonight. I went to finish up my Christmas shopping and didn't get home till after 8pm, so I ate dinner late and took my shot late. I'm pretty proud of myself though, it would have been so easy to just stop and grab something quick to eat, but I didn't do it. I wasn't super hungry though, so that was good, but the smells from all the food places at the mall really didn't help me. But I made it through another day.

128 oz water

Breakfast – 4 hardboiled egg whites and 5 apple slices
Snack – 2 oz pre-grilled chicken and cucumber
Lunch – 2 oz pre-grilled chicken, 5 apple slices, cucumber and celery
Snack - 2 oz tuna and celery
Dinner – 4 oz of chicken stir fried with broccoli and asparagus, 1 apple heated, sprinkled with cinnamon and splenda

HcG Diet – Day 4 – 12/21/08

Day 1 of the food portion of this program. I think I'm going to hate egg whites, grilled chicken, broccoli, cucumbers and celery by the time these 12 weeks are up. I have been hungry today, not sure if it's real hunger or just because I'm not in the habit of eating to live. I think that will probably take some time. I've gone to the bathroom so many times today. I drank 96 oz of my water before 12:30PM. I'm hoping if I drink the majority of my water early I won't be getting 5 times during the night to go to the bathroom like I did last night. I weighed myself this morning – just wanted to see where I was after all the pigging out I did the last week or so….. 215.9. One thing I won't miss is the super full feeling. I ate so much for dinner the last 2 nights I could barely breathe as I was laying in bed. With these smaller portions, that full feeling will be a thing of the past.

I really can't wait until Friday for my appointment to see how much progress I made in a week. The medical assistant said on average I can expect to lose 8-10 lbs the first 2 weeks. I can't wait to see that loss. Actually I can't wait to see the first 17 pounds come off, and then I will finally be less than 200 pounds again. It's been about 5 years I think since I was less than 200 lbs.

I kept busy this afternoon – I wrapped Christmas presents and put laundry away. Food was the last thing on my mind and I wasn't hungry. When I did see the time and the fact that I needed to eat my snack, I actually started dreading eating. Nothing really sounds appealing.

128 oz of water

Breakfast – 4 scrambled egg whites and 4 apple slices
I was hungry between breakfast and my scheduled snack so I had some cucumbers and celery.
Snack – 2 oz pre-grilled chicken and 4 apple slices
Lunch – 2 oz pre-grilled chicken, 4 apple slices, and 3 cups of broccoli
Snack - 2 oz pre-grilled chicken, 4 apple slices, and cucumbers
Dinner – 2 oz tuna, 4 apple slices, steamed asparagus
Snack – 4 apple slices heated in the microwave with cinnamon and splenda

HcG Diet – Day 3 – 12/20/08

Last night when I gave myself my injection I also gave myself a nice bruise. L Today I went through all of my clothes in my closet, old smaller sizes and the newer stuff/bigger sizes. I decided what of the smaller stuff I wanted to keep to wear for in the next month or so. And then I went through all the current stuff and decided what I'm not really going to wear in the next couple weeks. I took the rest of the stuff to the resale shop and I was so disappointed, I had a ton of really nice clothes in the box and they only took like 4 skirts and 1 jacket and I got $7.50. What a disappointment, I was hoping they would take it all and I would get like at least $50 so I would have some money to buy clothes to wear between size 14 and 8. O'well, I guess the Goodwill will get a lot of clothes, at least they aren't picky.

I have had the worst headache today, not sure if it's related to the HcG since I get lots of headaches anyway. The medical assistant did say I would most likely get some withdrawal headaches once I stop the sugar. I've also had to go to the bathroom a ton today. Tonight is my last "yummy" meal. We are having meatloaf, my yummy mashed potatoes, and cauliflower and cheese sauce, then tomorrow I start the food portion of the program. We went to Costco today and stocked up on the approved veggies, fruit, and protein – so I'm ready for the week.

It seems so surreal that today I'm a size 16/18 and in 12 weeks I will be a size 8. That just seems so crazy – almost too good to be true.

Yesterday I had the nausea at the smell of a sugar cookie, today after I had lunch my son gave me a piece of cinnamon coffee bread and after one bite I felt nauseous. That does seem like a good thing, I'm hoping it will continue so that I won't want any sugary type stuff for the next 12 weeks.

Time to finish fixing my "last supper"…… until tomorrow……..

HcG Diet – Day 2 – 12/19/08

Onto day two…… This morning I was a little emotional, not sure if it's the HcG or if it was the argument my husband and I got into. On the way to work I was listening to the CD I made of songs from our wedding and I was just bawling. I figure I will try to do some research today and see if being more emotional is a side affect or if it was just me today.

I'm glad this is one of my 2 days of eating like a pig. Some of the guys at work brought in all kinds of sweets and cookies and cakes today for the holidays.

It's now lunch and I'm barely hungry. I don't know if it's because of the holiday food I had this morning, but that was really early or the HcG. I'm hoping it's already the HcG taking affect because if it's going to be like this, it will be easy. I ate half of a 5 in sub sandwich from porta subs and I'm stuffed. Honestly the smell of it now is making me nauseous. I felt that way earlier with sweet smell of the cookies I have on my desk. I guess I will see as time goes on.

A little back story about how I gained my weight. I got pregnant for the first time when I was 17 years old. At that time I weighed 105-110lbs. I gained 75 lbs with each pregnancy. I slowly was able to lose and get down to about 160, but then slowly gained about 20 of that back over the years. It's been a struggle for me for the last 15 years. About 5 years ago I broke my ankle and had to have surgery and ended up being in bed for 6 weeks. This was a very hard time for me and I got depressed, as a single mom that did everything for my kids it was really hard to have to rely on them to do things for me, like get me a glass or water or make me a sandwich or something. I ended up gaining about 60 lbs over time. My highest weight in June 2006 was 243lbs. I have slowly lost some of that weight over the last 2 years, I lost about 15 of it while I was out of work because I had the time to work out for a couple hours a day. Then once I started working again, I was able to maintain what I had lost, but wasn't really losing. Then my husband and I decided to get married so I worked really hard to lose some more for the wedding. I only ended up losing about 20 more pounds and it was a really slow process. That took about 6 months to lose that. I was down to about 205 for the wedding. After the wedding I really slacked off and got back up to 214. So here I go, I can't really tell you what my end goal really is when it comes to pounds because I went from 110 to 185 and then down to about 135 and got pregnant again and up to 210 and then down to 160. I've never been at my ideal weight or size. When I was 110 I was way too skinny, but I was also only 17. When I got to 135 after I had my son, I was still aiming to get back to my original weight, so at that time I wasn't happy with that. So I've never really been at a weight that I have been happy at. Right now I'm shooting for 140-145 and see how I feel there. I think I would be happy being a size 8. So that's what I'm going work towards.

When I was doing my research for this diet I found documentation from the Dr that originally found this and it's dated from 1954. It said that you couldn't use conditioner or lotions, I freaked out a little about that, so that was one of my questions I asked when I saw my medshape counselor. She said it wasn't an issue now because the products are not made with animal fat anymore. I also was just searching for other blogs so I could see other people's experience with this diet. I found one of someone that recently did it and it sounds like he did it on his own instead of being supervised by a doctor and his version is pretty different than mine. He was only eating twice a day and making sure he did not go over 500 calories a day and was not using any lotions or conditioners. The way mine works is I eat every 2-4 hours, always eating 2 oz of protein, and unlimited veggies (from a specified list) and 2 servings of fruit a day (only a couple choices for fruits). It actually will be closer to 1000 calories a day.

I'm really surprised, I'm still not really hungry – it's 3:30 in the afternoon, usually I'm starving by now. I guess that's a good thing.

Tonight I will be doing my injection around 6:00pm and then we are going to have Thai food for dinner. I can't wait to start seeing some results. I think that's what excites me about this is that I will see some immediate results and with my personality that is good.

HcG Diet – Day 1 – 12/18/08

Today I'm starting a new journey in my weight loss. I'm starting a "diet" called the HcG diet. It consists of HcG injections and a very strict low calorie diet. I thought I would document my journey daily so I can see my progress and also so that if anyone else wants to do this diet, maybe this blog will help them decide. This whole program is supervised by a doctor and the HcG is a prescribed medication. I heard about this on the radio, one of the radio stations here had selected some listeners to make up 2 teams to do a weight loss challenge and the participants lost some amazing amounts each week, so I started researching it and decided I wanted to try it. It's a little spendy, but if it means I won't struggle with my weight anymore, I think it's worth it.

Let me first say that I hate calling this a diet!!!!

The way I understand this diet to work is that the HcG is a natural hormone, and it attacks the stored fat and uses it as energy, so even though I am only eating 500-1000 calories a day, because it is using the stored fat your body is actually getting 2000 or more calories a day.

The whole thing started with blood work, and all my levels were normal. They weighed me today and I'm starting at 214.2, 46% body fat, and 109 lbs lean muscle mass. She did say that my lean muscle mass is really good, she said that she has seen as low as 80 lbs and the average for women that come into the clinic is between 90-100 lbs of lean muscle mass. Since muscle helps burn fat and keeps the metabolism up, I've got an advantage because I have more lean muscle.

I had my first injection tonight; it was really easy to do myself. The needle is really small and I put it in the fat of my stomach. It didn't hurt at all. From here, I have 6 days of injections at the same time each day and then one day off. So I will do an injection every day until Wednesday and then have Wednesday as my injection off day. Between today and Saturday of this week, I eat whatever I want – actually the medical assistant said to "eat like a pig". She said that the first two days I need to eat as much as I want and more than normal because it makes the HcG work harder to burn that fat that I'm consuming and then on Sunday I start the "diet" and then the HcG will work hard to tap into the stored fat and start burning that.

I go back to the clinic once a week to be weighed and see my progress and get more HcG. I also measured myself tonight so I can keep track that way. The medical assistant said I shouldn't weigh myself at home, but I don't think for me that is realistic, but I will try.

I'm doing a 12 week program and in 12 weeks I should go from a size 16/18 to a size 8/10. So, here I go…… on to smaller sizes.

I guess I should add a before picture too: -