HcG Diet – Day 6 – 12/23/08

211.3 lbs

Last night I bought some gum, I thought for sure I had read that sugar free gum was ok, but now I can't find it anywhere on the website or in the papers I have. I guess I will be waiting till Friday to ask and find out if I can chew gum. I thought it would help when I'm hungry or when I feel like I need something sweet. I also bought some pomegranate green tea and a vanilla caramel tea, so I'm going to try them today and see if they are good.

Today is my last day at work for 12 days. It's going to be so nice, but at the same time I'm a little worried since I will be home all day, so I might get bored and want to eat. It will be interesting to see how much a changed is noticed when I come back to work on the 5^th. While I was shopping last night, I stopped at Mervyns because they are closing and had an 80% off everything sale, I bought myself some small and medium shirts – they would have normally cost around $100 but I got them for $18. I was pretty happy with that and excited that I have a couple things to wear when I'm done losing. I will admit I had the thought in my head though – "what if I don't lose like I'm supposed to and I just wasted this money? I can't return this stuff" There's always that self doubt in my head when I'm trying to lose weight. I need to figure out how to get over that. It's always what ends up sabotaging my progress. But this time my husband is counting on me too, especially since he paid for the whole program, I can't let his money go to waste. And my husband is also very supportive, so that helps a lot. I'm sure it sucks for him and the kids because with my restricted eating for the next 12 weeks, it kind of restricts theirs also. Not as much, but I won't be cooking all the yummy stuff I used to cook, and we won't be going out to eat and I won't be buying ice cream and junk that I can't have, so they are all making sacrifices for me as well. (The kids just don't know it yet.)

Ok, so far, mornings are tough, I'm hungrier in the morning, so I guess I need to experiment a little to see what's going to fill me up and keep me full longer. I've just been doing egg whites and apples, but within an hour or so, I'm hungry again. The rest of the day seems fine after I have my first snack. I think right now I'm going to go to the bathroom and then get a cup of tea and see if that helps. I still have to wait at least 45 minutes before I can eat my first snack, and right now chicken and cucumbers do not sound appealing at 8:30 in the morning.
I took my chicken to the microwave and bumped the plate and lost almost all my chicken. I only had about a ½ ounce left to eat for my snack. L That sucked!

I went till 12:45 without eating lunch, even with not having my whole snack earlier. It seems like this is getting easier and easier when it comes to hunger. I will admit temptation is still tough. There was a chocolate cake in the coffee room and it smelled so good. Then the guy that sits next to me got a piece and told me how good it was. But I didn't give in. The vanilla caramel tea is really good, add a little splenda and it tastes more like a treat. I think tea will be my friend for the next 12 weeks.

I went to Sprouts today to buy some of the Walden Farms sauces and stuff. I got them home all excited and tasted each, yuck! The chocolate syrup was ok, the "peanut butter" was ok – tasted nothing like Jif though, the thousand island dressing tasted nothing like the real stuff and the ranch tasted nothing like ranch. I guess maybe they will be more appealing after I have gone without all that stuff for a while.

I did have a hard time today though, not so much because I wanted something specific or was hungry, but more because I keep "forgetting" what I'm doing. My son and I were on our way to Costco and I thought "oh, we could get a hot dog" then I realized, no I can't. Then when we were in Costco they have all the yummy samples, and I almost forgot and ate one. It's going to take some time to get used to it, but it will be worth it.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'm planning on cooking a prime rib and twice baked potatoes, so I have decided that I will allow myself a couple bites of potato and a bite of the fudge that my dad sent me for Christmas, but I will not go overboard. Before I decided to do this program, the first thing I asked the counselor is what I would do on Christmas, and her response was "it is a holi-DAY, it only happens once a year, so do not deprive yourself, but also do it in moderation." So that's what I plan on doing.